Eternal Summer

Friday, October 31, 2008


Another great Asian gay-themed movie to watch. Eternal Summer tells a story of a friendship that started way back their early years. Jonathan, the intelligent-type and the class monitor was tasked by the teacher to pair up with Shane to benefit from his influence. Shane on the other hand had attention deficit disorder and a big time school troublemaker. When they transferred to High School, Carrie a Hong Kong native came in to the picture. Carrie shows interest to Jonathan but he declined due to his unspoken romantic predicament to Shane. Shane found himself jealous with Carrie and unexpectedly developed a crush on her. Carrie became Shane's girlfriend and they did not tell Jonathan right away. Shane is afraid that he'll have issues because Jonathan almost had it with Carrie. When Jonathan found out, it forces him to admit the real feelings for him that he has been hiding all along.

Well, I pretty like/hate the ending. The lines were short but then you'll be left with thousand thoughts. It needed me to re-call the scenes before the confrontation to know what Shane meant. Right now I am still left figuring things out. Here are the last lines:

S: Aren't we best friends? What can't you tell me?
J: Shane, You say best friends can tell each other anything. Fine... Then, I really want to know if you still be my friends after you hear my secret. Shane... You're not just a friend to me, I REALLY LOVE YOU.
(Jonathan walks out)

S:
Wait! I have a secret for you too. I always knew that you were forced by the teacher. I always knew you didn't volunteer to be my friend. At first, I want to hurt you and get you in trouble. But then I realized that I couldn't do it. I'm really too lonely. Jonathan Kang... You really are my best friend!


Before that, they had scenes like: Shane leaned on Jonathan's while they were both riding on a same bike. He initiated to have Sex with him and they did it full of love and passion. He'll be upset whenever Jonathan will ignore him or we'll not be around during his games.He also told Carrie he can't lose Jonathan. With Shane's gesture I can see that he feels the same way with his best friend. I was expecting that the reply of Shane was like "I love you too". I feel like my tears were ready to burst with the scene. It was heavy because of the situation. Ouch as in ouch, ouch! It was a sad ending and it made all of this emotional-melancholy sucker out on me again. I feel for Jonathan, I was like Jonathan at some time of my life. It's raining here, the story was sad, it made me feel gloomy all of a sudden.

I was left hanging by these thoughts: What's the deal with the ending? Is Shane telling the truth? Does Shane loves Jonathan, but can't be more than best friends? Why did he make love with Jonathan? Why didn't he hurt Jonathan, since he was aware that his friendship was arranged by the teacher? Why did he continue to be friends with him after grade school? Why do he care too much for his best friend? Why did Shane act like he feels the same for him, but he didn't confirm?




AddThis Social Bookmark Button


When Failure Feels Plain

Thursday, October 30, 2008

This is no sour-graping, consider that as my official statement. I am writing and thinking in the same manner I was alike few days back. The most awaited decision for my application is about to be formally announced tonight. That's what I heard form a very reliable source. I am well connected with the people in the office and I am sure that most of the time I am always on the loop with latest and freshest intrigues, news, lies, controversies, who-said-which, who-did-what and what-have-you. With the connection I established with my roughly 4 years stay I can never be wrong. I already knew that the person that will be announced tonight for the post wouldn't be my name.

Aside from being well-connected I know I have a very good instinct especially on the things I closely watch. I have quite impressive sense and keen eye on the odd things that happens and things that I am up to. I can read between the lines. Having all these, everything was seen clearly last night on how my co-applicant was treated. It is something that you know that before they announce it, the management and the supervisor-to-be are already up to something.

Surprisingly, I was never hurt by what I have seen. It was anticipated and expected. Though I must admit that I still have little hopes that it's not happening to me. I pretended busy but all of my senses were on. The night continues and the series of events concluded the question I had been waiting to be answered for almost a month now. Again, I came to realize that I want two things in my life as of the moment and if that application will fuck up, I have THAT other thing I can do that I am equally interested of doing and happy of doing, which is this. .

Anyhoo, I am happy for my co-applicant. I am happy because he didn't chance upon getting denied in which I know he is not prepared of. Again, I already moved on before this shit happen, though it don't really feel shitty now. Yeah! I failed to get it but I
unexpectedly feel the same and happy. I guess all of my extra time will be spent to ink my blog page.

Again, it's no sour-graping nor self-pity and definitely not denial.

AddThis Social Bookmark Button


Huling Sulyap sa Tag-araw

Monday, October 27, 2008


Heto ako nakaupo walang tulog hinihila ang oras para matapos na ang araw at makatulog ng mahimbing at makapagpahinga. Sa kabila ng hindi ko mabilang na tawag at hikab naisip kita. Naisip ko kung paano ako binaliw ng pag-ibig na naramdaman ko sayo noon. Ang dating kong nararamdaman ay para bang alinsangan sa oras ng aking pagtulog. Para kang init ng araw na pinapanatili akong gising sa oras na dapat ako ay payapa at nahihimlay. Isa kang kalawang na nagbabanta para sirain ako, di lang ako kundi pati sa mga taong malapit sa akin. Ang pag-ibig ko sayo ang nagturo sa king magtago na walang nakakaalam at walang yabag at pagkakakilanlan. Sa kabila nito, isa kang patunay na ang puso ko mang pagal ay pwede pa ring umibig at magmahal. Oo nga at minahal kita noon, at kasabay nito ay binaba ko ang sarili ko. Natatandaan ko pa nang sa isang pulgadang layo natin isang gabing na nasa ilalim tayo ng espirito ng alak ay matapang kong umamin sayo, kasabay sa pagbitaw ng bawat salita sa hangin ay dahan dahan ko ring pinakawalan lahat ng kirot at sayang dulot mo sa puso ko. Ginawa ko yun 'di dahil gusto kong maging akin ka o kaawaan mo ako at sa huli ay pilitin mong pagtuunan mo ko ng kahit kakarampot na pagmamahal. Ginawa ko yun dahil alam kong hindi ka sa akin, nagtimbang ako at masusing nag-isip ang gagang puso ko ay binulag lang pala ng walang kahulugang postura at mga salita mong walang laman!Madaya ang buhay, kaya dinaya ko na lang ang sarili ko at tumalikod ako at hindi na piniling lingunin ka uli.


Lumipas ang panahon, balik sa normal ang buhay ko at kuntento naman ako sa kasalukuyang estado. Isang araw ako ay nakabalita,
ang daya mo in-love ka na ulit ako hindi pa. Kung kailan ako ma-iinlove hindi ko alam parang ayaw ko ring alamin. Makakapaghintay naman ako kahit abutin pa ako ng susunod na tag-araw!


AddThis Social Bookmark Button


Sakay

Sunday, October 26, 2008


Sa puntong ito bakit parang mas gusto ko pang pagtuunan ng pansin ang pag gawa at pag-aayos ng blog kaysa intindihin ang resulta ng aking pagtatangkang ma-promote?


Mas pinagtutuunan ko ng atensiyon ang pagpapaganda sa site ko at di ko ininda ang pagbabasa ng HTML codes tutorial, maintidihan ko lang ito kaysa intindihin ang mga gagawin kong paghahanda kung sakaling another level na ako sa trabaho.

Kada topic na bigla kong naiisip nilalagay ko sa celphone ko para di ko malimutan. Kapag nasa wishu ako tinitignan ko at sumusulat ako ng tungkol sa kahit ano, sa pagsulat ko kasama dun yung kasalukuyang estado ng aking emosyon. Hindi ako sumulat tungkol sa paghihintay ng resulta ng promosyon, baka nga hindi na ako apektado.

Nakakatuwa kapag may natutuwa sa gawa mo, mababaw man nilalaman. Nakakataba ng puso ang papuri kahit sa hindi mo kakilala. Nakakatuwa rin na may nata-touch sa likha mong malungkot at na-iinspire sa mga naisulat mo.

Masayang magpasaya ng hindi mo kilala. Yung wala kayong koneksyon na maituturing ang tanging nag-involve sa inyo ay ang mag experience nyo sa pagiging bakla, pagmamahal at kung anumang chenelar sa buhay.

Mas challenged ako mag-establish ng connections sa mga matatagal ng blogger, naghahanap ng matatagal na sa blogging para ma-link at dumami ang maabot ng mga naisulat mo at matuwa o kung di man maka-relate o tulungan mo silang magpatay ng oras, ayos na rin.

Saan kaya ako magiging mas masaya? Pag na-promote ba ako o pag dumami yung taong nagbabasa ng mga sinulat ko? Sana parehas na mangyari, para rin malaman ko. Kung di man, sigurado ako kahit yung isa lang d'yan magiging masaya ako at sisiguraduhin ko na isa sa kanila okay na ako pag-sakay ko! :)

Tama, nagsimula na nga akong sumulat sa labas ng multiply!


Photo Credit: http://jarvisvernoncoong.deviantart.com/art/Jeepney-65756650

AddThis Social Bookmark Button


Iisa Pa Lamang, ang Kulay at Corned Beef.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Panalong mga linya sa teleseryeng "Iisa pa Lamang". Ito talaga ang batuhan ng linya to it's best form na pinagaganda pa sa pamamagitan ng paggamit ng salitang mapagmalabis at metapora! Isama mo pa ang walang humpay na paghahambing sa kulay at pati na rin ang corned beef na walang kinalaman. Nakakatawa yung ibang linya at nakakaaliw.

Kung sa akin lang si Isadora (Cherry Pie Picache) ang ipapanalo kong "Villain of the Year" sa supreme to the extreme chenelar. Scarlet (Angelica Panganiban) is fine, but Cherry Pie is amazing. Another underrated na pagganap na gusto ko, pero nga underrated pa rin! Go lang Madam Loca! :)

Tanong ko lang:
1. Bakla ba ang head ng "Pool of writers" ng soap na ito?
2. Ano ang significance ng kulay sa tarayan?
3. Totoo ba na mas masarap ang corned beef na imported, at ito na ba ang bagong sukatan ng yaman?

Isadora – Cherry Pie Picache

Scarlet – Angelica Panganiban

Katherine – Claudine Barretto

Sophia – Melissa Ricks

Aura – Susan Roces


***

"Anak ako. Dugo't laman." - Scarlet

"Anak ka lang. Asawa nya 'ko. Lahat ng pag-aari ni Martin, pagaari ko na ngayon." - Katherine

"You're just a gold digger in red!" - Scarlet

"Damn you!" - Scarlet

"Same to you anak. Same to you." - Katherine


- Parang ganito lang yan, yung tatay mo sasabihan ka ng maarte ka dahil ayaw mo kumain dahil sa ulam n'yo ngayon. Gusto ko lang sabihin na "Tay, nung isang araw ang ulam natin may sarsa ang sarap ng luto. Pero ayaw mo nga pala ng pork so nagpaluto ka ng iba! Ako lang ba ang maarte? Same to you tay!"

***

"Anong nangyayari dito? Magsuswimming ka lang, nakadiamonds ka pa?! “ - Scarlet

"Siyempre, diamonds are forever, like me!" - Katherine

-Ito naaliw ako dito. Walang connect sa ginagawa n'yang pag si-swimming pero pasok ang spiel! Maihambing lang talaga sa sarili ang diamond kahit hindi naman kailangan sa pagsi-swimming! Kaluka!

***

"Ang ganda-ganda mo na ngayon Katherine, sarap mong patayin!" - Isadora


- Ang tawag dito "pag-uyam" kahit super puri ka na ironic naman ang dating, kelangan masabi mo pa rin ang nais mong maiparating sa huli! Panalo si Isadora!

***

"Kung gaano ka katayod lumipad, ganun ka rin kabilis lalagapak. Ouch!" - Isadora

- Old cliche na may modern twist. Kailangan na may facial expression at halong pang-aasar ang pagkaka-deliver ng salitang "ouch" para mas effective!

***

"Look who's here, my favorite step-mother. Ang dating gold digger in red, isa na ngayong merry widow in black." - Scarlet

'Ha! Kung sa bagay mas bagay sayo yang itim, kakulay ng budhi mo!' - Scarlet

"Bakit ka nga ba nakaputi? Para pagtakpan ang mas maitim mong budhi?" - Katherine

- Ipasok uli ang kulay sa pag-aasiman. In fainess naman may connect talaga sa kulay ang pag-aasim ni Angelica. Baklang-bakla lang ang linya. Siguro nga puro becky ang writers ng soap na ito!

***

"Ikaw ba, totoong nagdadalamhati ka? Kasi napansin ko, kaya mong mag-biro. Kaya lang ang corny mo! Anyway, gusto ko lang malaman mo na lahat nang 'to, hindi 'to permanente. Lahat nang iyan, babawiin ko iyan sa 'yo!" - Scarlet

"Sige! Maglaro tayo, agawan ng yaman! Pero kung ako sa'yo, kakabahan ako, kasi ako sanay sa hirap. Eh ikaw?" - Katherine

- Gusto ko ang linyang 'to. Pwedeng gamitin pang gusto mong mang-agaw ng ka-love team. Parang "Sige maglaro tayo, agawan kay Badong (pangalan kunwari ng lalaki), Pero kung ako sa'yo, kakabahan ako, mas charming ako at matalino at sanay akong mag-isa! Eh ikaw?" Naisip ko lang naman. Hahaha

***

"Gusto mo ikaw ang itali ko? Pasweet sweet ka pa diyan, ganid ka rin pala!" - Isadora

"Ang bigat naman ng salitang 'yon Isadora, pero totoo, oo ganid ako! At gusto ko, ni singko walang matira sa'yo! Kaya manginig ka na Isadora, dahil uubusin ko ang lupang tinatapakan mo!" - Katherine

- Winhhurr! Yun lang!

***

"Iba na ang sitwasyon ngayon Isadora. Marami akong pera, kaya ko nang bilhin ang kahit na ano. Kahit ikaw, magkano ka ba?" - Katherine

"Hayop ka! Kahit kelan hindi mo ako mabibili, at hindi mo ako kayang bilhin!" - Isadora

"Sabagay, ayoko sayo. Mumurahin ka eh, pero yung anak mo ibenta mo ha. Sige na, promise hindi ako tatawad. Kahit used goods na, ok lang. Pag-isipan mo." - Katherine

-Ayos sa offer parang RTW lang na pwedeng ibenta. Parang pag-nagrestroom ka sa mall. Gusto mo lang sabihin na "Everybody out. I want my space. Out now!" Yaman-yamanan to the max!

***

"Pagod ako. Huwag kang loloko-loko. Baka gusto mo ihampas ko tong bag kong mas mahal pa sa'yo!" - Katherine

"Sabagay, ako rin eh, pagod makipaghampasan. Next time, ok? In fairness ah, ang ganda ng damit mo. Pahiram minsan ha." -Isadora

- Hahaha. Panalo ito! Ayon sa Tarayan 101, kung gusto mong mas maging mataray ay gamitin ang linya ng kalaban at ibalik sa kanya para mas makabog mo ang statement niya. kung mas mataray ang nagawa mong statement at di na nakasagot ang kalaban. Ikaw ang winner!

***

"Anak ka nga talaga ni Isadora, nakuha mo lahat sa kanya. Mata-pobre, mayabang, at higit sa lahat, bastos!" - Katherine

"Don't you dare say bad things about my mother, kumpara sa 'yo. anghel ang ina ko!" - Sophia

"Anghel na may sungay!" - Katherine

"Oo, may sungay. Para suwagin ka! Para mauna ka na sa impyerno!" - Sophia

"Hmm. Matagal-tagal na kayong inaantay dun. In fact, balita ko, si satanas mismo ang sasalubong sa inyong mag-ina!" – Katherine

- Pasok sdin ang mga linyang ito kahit medyo luma na ang topic about sa sinong mauuna sa impyerno? Nagpa-sungit lang ng husto yung "In fact, balita ko, si satanas mismo ang sasalubong sa inyong mag-ina!" Ang Taray-taray!

***

"Panandaliang donya, habang buhay na busabos." - Lola Aura

- Sumali sa tarayan, yan tinigok ka tuloy!

***

“Luluhod ka sa harapan ko at magmamakaawa ka na tanggapin kita ulit!” - Scarlet

“Kumain ka na. Gutom lang yan!” - Miguel

-Hahaha! Winnhur rin! I-associate sa gutom ang statement parang hallucination lang kunwari dahil walang kain. Parang ngayon wala pa akong kain. Nagha-hallucinate rin ata ako dito!

***

“Oh aren't you excited to see me?” - Isadora

“Excited? Alam mo bang mas excited pa akong magpunta ng dentista at mag pa root canal kesa ang makaharap ka?” - Scarlett

“Ikaw naman, nagpapaka-funny. Kung ang lahat ng bulok na ngipin ay kasing ganda ko, o di wala ng bibili ng toothpaste… I'm so witty” - Isadora

“Ano ba talagang pakay mo? I'm sure hindi naman ang kapakanan ng dental industry ang pinunta mo dito di ba? Business? Monkey business?"

“Oo, at napaka disenteng monkey business. Politics.” - Isadora

- Pinaka-panalong linya ito! Tawa ako ng tawa sa paghahambing sa root canal! Sino namang makakaisip. Ang sooongit! Pero mas nasungitan ako sa sagot ni Isadora! Kabog! Hahaha

***

"Tapos ka na sa gold digger in red. Tapos ka na rin sa merry widow in black. Ngayon, baka pwede ka ng dirty mistress in dirty brown.” - Scarlett

“Same to you anak, remember? Pareho na tayong nasasadlak ngayon. Damn you, damn me. Karma's a bitch, and so are we…” – Katherine

- Ngayon naman Brown, kukumpletuhin yata ni Scarlet ang Crayola 12.

***

Miguel: Ipapakulong mo si Catherine. Anu ba mapapala mo dito?

Scarlet: Eh di makukulong si Catherine and that will make me the happiest person in this whole wide world! Ahaha.

“Or else, ang dating GOLD DIGGER ay jailbird in orange na ngayon... hahaha” – Scarlet

- Ayaw paawat Orange naman. 8 na lang kumpleto na ang Crayola 12.

***

Isadora: "Oh! maganda din naman pala eh, minimalist" (referring to silyang kahoy sa haus nla hahaha)

- Talbog! Ang pagiging payak ay kunwaring i-pattern sa Japanese style na minimalist! Hahaha.

***

SCARLET: sabi ko sayo mas imported yung cornedbeef sa bahay eh.. anu nakatikim kana ng imported?

MAID: opo ma'am

***

ang significance ng corned beef sa iisa pa lamang…

isadora (to katulong): aalis ka? sige, wala kang utang na loob, matapos kita ibaba ng bundok at patikimin ng corned beef?

isadora(to sofia ): mamalengke ka ng ulam...teka, parang may hinahanap akong ...hmmm...ayun, bumili ka ng corned beef.

scarlet: o di ba imported ang mga corned beef dito? nakatikim k n ba yaya?

- HAHAHA! Kawawang maid, naging tagasolo ng linya at ang topic corned beef nabibili sa palengke laban sa corned beef na imported. O kung sino ang amo na may pinaka-imported na corned beef? Corned beef bagong sukatan ng yaman!

***

“ang yabang mu na ngayon ha porket ba ang apilyido mo noon eh mrs. katherin dela rhea at future mrs rafael toralba,,. alam mo bibinyagan na lng kita ng bagong pangalan "mrs katherine maperang mapera y huthutera byuda de impostora ! oh diba mas maganda sosyal hahaha” – ISADORA

“papatayin kita!” – Katherine

“pumila ka muna, dahil sa dami ng gustong pumatay sakin, baka maunahan ka…” - Isadora

- Ang sungit-sungit na linya. Gusto ko ung last line si Isadora! Kabog na Kabog! Bakit kaya hindi siya ang "Villain of the Year"? Anyway, yung mga bakla dyan for sure nagtatanda na ng linya na gagamitin nila sa mga susunod nilang tarayan! Hahaha


AddThis Social Bookmark Button


Chikahan at Landian sa Opis

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

This is really funny and interesting..... In our work we have our own version of MIRC (yeah.. very high school chat thingy that taught me how to use CTC, BRB, LOL etc..) and we call it as VIRC (Virtual IRC achuchu). Basically, VIRC should be used only when u need to ask something that u don't know. In short, it should be for business related chat only. Pero most of the times we exploit and play with the tool for our regular chismisan, siraan, ligawan, landian at kung ano ano pa!

One day, I am surprised when I got a message from an officemate (na hindi ko naman ganun ka kilala at ka-chikahan) asking why I am using a different nickname, say for example my name is Diosa it should be wifi_ Diosa ( in a business nickname form) since I support the newest product which is wifi that time. But what I always do is to change it wife instead of the tag wifi, papansin lang sa lahat sa chatroom. I want to be different and unique. Then he reacted he sent me a personal message, that's the start of our conversation. I don't know if this is pure play lang, basta ako deadma lang nang mga panahon na yun!

Itago na lang natin siya sa name na "Adonis" dahil nakikipaglaro siya sa Diosa! Kaming dalawa ay nagta-trabaho sa isang call center sa Makati, just so u know!

I am posting the actual chat... hehehe.


<Adonis> wife?
[Diosa] so? (pa hard to get effect! Maldita lang tayo!)
<Adonis> :P
<Adonis> heheheh
[Diosa] hehehe
[Diosa] echos lang
[Diosa] im a wife material; (nagpaliwanag daw)
<Adonis> heheh bawal yan
[Diosa] thats it
<Adonis> yeh right
<Adonis> whos the man?
[Diosa] ikaw (nde naman sa ako nag umpisa, pero ganyan kasi kami mag usap ng mga friends ko. Ex: San kayo pupunta? Ang sagot: Sa Inyo! di ba sweet)
<Adonis> hmm pwede
<Adonis> pag isipan ko muna (he reacted positively.. pasok ang spiel!)
[Diosa] ok
<Adonis> :P
[Diosa] hintay ko (nagdrama agad si bakla!)
<Adonis> as if
[Diosa] yeah
<Adonis> bahala ka baka totohanin ko (another positive scripting!)
<Adonis> :P
[Diosa wahahaha
[Diosa] pwede na rin laman tyan (si bakla, probing!)
<Adonis> heheheh
<Adonis> :(
<Adonis> ganun ang bad mo (kunwaring nasaktan)
[Diosa] kaw na husband ko ha (assuming an si bakla)
<Adonis> pag isipan ko pa nga (biglang nagpa heart to get)
[Diosa] kelan kita tatanungin uli? (si bading nakikipaglaro na dito...)
[Diosa] babae ako marupook
[Diosa] lol
<Adonis> hehehe
<Adonis> di ko pa alam
<Adonis> alam mo naman na may mahal na ko
[Diosa] maghihintay ako Nicolas (it's a character sa impostora, its a line of Sunshine to Mark Anthony Fernandez who plays the role of Nicolas. kebs kung di nya nagets! hehehe)
[Diosa] seryoso ba ito?
<Adonis> hmmm uu naman (ang potah, ayaw paawat!)
[Diosa] hoy!
<Adonis> baka naguguluhan ka lang
[Diosa] kahoy dont play ur games on me (pa virgin! at kunwari di interesado)
<Adonis> yaiks
<Adonis> how did you know
[Diosa] hehehe
[Diosa] because iam wat iam
[Diosa] dont let me play with u (nagbigay ng warning, nagpakabitchesa!)
<Adonis> yeh right
<Adonis> il let u play me (ano daw?)
[Diosa] wahahaha
<Adonis> este play with me (pasalamat ka hindi ako masyado mapagpatol)
[Diosa] hmmm
[Diosa] okay lets play (submissive naman pala!)
<Adonis> its been a while na din
<Adonis> hehehe
[Diosa] huwaw
<Adonis> huwaw ka na?
<Adonis> so u wanna drink? (wow! may plan pala xa sakin, chos!)
[Diosa] tonyt?
<Adonis> hmmm im afraid (at siya pa raw ang natatakot sa babaeng katulad ko!)
[Diosa] dont be
<Adonis> ur so fast (at ako pala ang agressivesa lagay na yan!)
[Diosa] because iam more afraid
<Adonis> :(
<Adonis> lasingin mo muna ako (papalibre?!?)
<Adonis> thats my weakness. (sending message)
<Adonis> pag nalasing mo ko im all yours (reward points?!?)
[Diosa] xcuse me
[Diosa] im not after ur body (pagmamalinis!)
<Adonis> ??
[Diosa] wat do u think of me (isa pang pagmamalinis!)
<Adonis> oh ok... im nots saying that
<Adonis> not*

after couple of minutes mag 30-40 minutes ata na long call si bakla..


[Diosa] u just said it
[Diosa] i had a call
[Diosa] just read ur PM
<Adonis> :(
<Adonis> sorry i didnt mean to you know :( (ang bilis mo naman nag give up, pa hard to get nga ako. lol)
[Diosa] ichokay
[Diosa] :D
<Adonis> :saint
[Diosa] heheheh
<Adonis> aavail kayo? (segue sa ibang topic)
[Diosa] uu
[Diosa] kaw?
<Adonis> good
<Adonis> yeh
[Diosa ur not new to same sex? (bumanat si bading!)
[Diosa] im wondeirnf (nag-typo si bakla ninenerbiyos)
[Diosa] im wondeirng (nag-correct)
<Adonis> di ko gets
<Adonis> sorry mahina (nagtanga-tangahan)
<Adonis> kamote kasi
[Diosa] tsk
[Diosa] nevermind (nag galit galit-an)
<Adonis> whahahah
[Diosa] hehehehe
[Diosa] sabi ko nag kalover ka na same sex kayo? (in layman terms)
<Adonis> secret (nagpa-mystery)
[Diosa] hmmm
[Diosa] l tell it to me one day (Ms. Hope and Winston!)
<Adonis> :P
[Diosa] oi may giomik nga pala di ba (Nag poposition paramaaya siya as date sa night-out with common friends)
[Diosa] ***** is inviting me (***** is a mutual friend na taga office rin)
<Adonis> hmm wla pa me balita
<Adonis> baka alam mo naman tuwinf fri yan si ***** nag aaya
[Diosa] next week ito
<Adonis> ah next pa ba?
[Diosa] honga
<Adonis> san daw?
<Adonis> *****? (secret lang ung lugar para di mahalata kung cno)
[Diosa] huh?
[Diosa] u serious
<Adonis> di ko lang alam
<Adonis> san ba sabi niya
<Adonis> sorry got call
[Diosa] ok lang
<Adonis> no sabi ni *****?
[Diosa] ewan ko
[Diosa] havent talked to her lately
<Adonis> ah ok
<Adonis> sige
<Adonis> next time
[Diosa] ok
[Diosa] wat tym uwi mo?> (persisitent si bakla, kung ayaw mo next week why not nagyon)
<Adonis> 12 bakit?
[Diosa] la lang
<Adonis> hheheh kaw
[Diosa] 12 (di mo ba ma-sense parehas tayong 12, mag date kaya tayo!)
<Adonis> hmm ok (ano kaya yung hmmm, di mo ba talga gets?)
[Diosa] off mo?
<Adonis> sat mon
<Adonis> queuign akayo?
[Diosa] nde na
[Diosa] pulled out ako (imbey si bakla, na-pull out deadma muna sa kanya)
[Diosa] hehehehe
<Adonis> huh di ko gets (hanggang ngayon?! asus.. hirap kausap!)
<Adonis> ah ok

.. at sa dahil na-pull out ako as Floor Support. Nag end na ang conversation, di ko ni-reply-an dahil kaiis ang mga sagot!


itutuloy...


AddThis Social Bookmark Button


The Rise of Queen S! (Again)

Sunday, October 19, 2008

" A beautiful blonde phoenix rising from the ashes of a major public humiliation. Welcome back Queen Serena, consider us as your humble servants. Because if looks can kill them you wouldn't wanna be Dan Humphrey!"


S: I didn't plan all of these... It all just happen.
D: This is Serena Van der Woodsen's mantra, isn't it? No fault no responsibilities, things just happened!

D: You know, you should tell me that you're afraid that people can see the real you. Well, maybe you're the one who cant see yourself.
D: From where I am standing. This is who you are!

S: Is that what you think of me?

D: Yeah, yeah it is,or at least they own up to it. (pointing to other girls)...

D: ...and this time you did too. (Dan walks out)

Smile plastered over my face right now, I am doing marathon of Gossip Girl season 2 to catch up. My goal is to get it caught up by noon. I have to stop for a while to do this. I can't contain my excitement, season 2 episode 4 (The Ex-files) is officially my favorite episode to date. It's no secret that I love S more than B ever since I started to join the bandwagon. Now, I love S more than ever!!! I love how she let her "b" side unleashed (at least again). It's really hard to be blamed for something that you didn't do. I really feel for her, it's time to teach lonely boy some lessons or at least give him a dosage of what he thinks S is.

It's one episode packed with revelations and twists. From Chuck being the person responsible for bringing Amanda to the scene, Catherine trying to black mail Vanessa, Vanessa trying to win Nate back by having a counter black mail, lord Marcus and Catherine's affair, the minions doing mean things to other girls, to Blair's take down from being the Queen.

I soooo effing love S!!! I knew it right from the start. She's like pushing all my "bitchness" in me out! Can't wait to see the next episodes!

AddThis Social Bookmark Button


Pili na mga Suki!!!

Saturday, October 18, 2008


This is it!! It's raining men, not just men but young men. Sarrrapp!!! Lol

StarStudio's pick for the most Sizzling Men under 23.
1. Gerald Anderson 2. JC de Vera. 3. Enchong Dee 4. Robi Domingo . 5. Jake Cuenca 6. Aljur Abrenica 7. Carlo Guevarra 8. Joem Bascon 9. Marvin Raymundo 10. Rayver Cruz 11. Jason Abalos 12. Matt Evans


Yan ang ranking sa Magazine ng SS. May I just shuffle this ranking according to my taste!?!

12. Marvin Raymundo

- Sino raw siya? Haven't heard of his name. Baka kapatid ni Rannie Raymundo o ni Ina Raymundo! Promise! at pakituro kung san sya d'yan sa picture na yan. Actually alam ko na kung san s'ya diyan. Hmmm..... Yun oh! Ung nag-iisang hindi ko KILALA! Im sorry ur not known, so ur definitely not HOT, as per me! Hahaha

11. Robi Domingo

- Ito namang si Robi parang too good to be true ang drama! Bini-build up as the next Rico Yan, daw! Yung hitsura nya ni ayaw pumasa sa panlasa ko as boy-next-door chenelar. Parang ang bata, siguro ang katagorya n'ya muna sa akin ay "Bantay Bata". Bantayan nating lumaki at magmature pa at tignan na lang natin pagpatak ng "harvest season". Ewan ko ba hindi ko bet si Robi sa housemates ng time nila ang bet ko ay si Josef ung La Sallista! Yung mga bad boy look ba ganun!

10. Rayver Cruz

- Bakit? I don't know either. Kapag pinapanood ko siya sa ASAP parang may kulang ba o sobra sa face niya. Di ko alam, kulang ba sa chromosomes o sobra sa bibig. Ewan ko basta di ko alam kung ano parang cute naman s'ya pero bakit walang appeal? Ang galawgaw pa magsayaw parang kangkarot (naku, lumalabas ung pagka maka john Pratts ko) hahaha. In fairness, malaki na rin pala ang katawan nya! Gud jabb naman sayo!

9. Jason Abalos

- Ang batang nang-agaw ng aking atensiyon sa balitang nagtatakbo naka-brief sa MMK with Judy Ann Santos. Tall, dark and handsome, very much pinoy. Next Richard Gomez daw! In fairness sa kanya meron na s'yang Best Actor award from Urian.

8. Joem Bascon

- Naging interesting dahil ka-fes ni Papa Piolo. Nakita mo ba ang F&H ad nya na nakadisplay ngayon sa F&H boutique, in fairness hot ito. Pero try mo rin gumow sa Bench Boutique hindi nagpatalbog si Piolo. Mas malaki, mas maliwanag, mas katakam-takam at mas telag ang utong! Hahaha. Aaminin ko dalawang beses naming hinituan ng kaibigan ko, yung kay Piolo syempre!

7. Carlo Guevarra

- Walang takot na bata! Konti na lang pwede ng batang hubadera! Hehehe. Success story na datin ma-obis pero ngayon naman ay pinagpapantasyahan ng mga Becky! Mas Crush ko James Uy kaysa sa kanya, kung isinali sya dito malamang ang gulo gulo na ng ranking ko sa kanila!

6. Matt Evans

- Nagpapansin sa afro n'yang buhok. Talagang lumabas yung ung fes nya ngayong normal na yung buhok nya! Wala na akong masabi basta paki-alis lang po si Melissa RIcks sa tabi niya. Irita ako sa kanya!

5. Gerald Anderson

- Ano ang nangyari? Naging kamukha ni WOLVERINE si Gerald ngayon! Yung pagiging emo nya kulang na lang adamantium claws at pwede nya na sya for "X-Men: The Story of Wolverine"! Ewan ko ba hindi ko masakyan ang change ng image from super cutie boy-next-door to emo-ala-wolverine-hugh-grant look! ABS pakibalik na po si Gerald sa dati at pasayawin ng dance craze niya. Mas matutuwa pa ang mga feeling Kim Chiu na katulad ko at pati yung anak na bata ng kapitbahay namin na kiri! Hahaha

4. Enchong Dee

-Sabi nga ng isang friend ko si Enchong ang nagpa-balik ng feeling na parang may crush ka nang High School ka pa lang. Totoo kaya! At ito pa ang chika, kalat sa community namin na pinsan ng cute kong kaklase noong elementary si AJ Dee na itago nating sa pangalan "Flawbert". Meaning to say pinsan din sila dahil alam natin na related si Enchong at AJ! Sana pala nag-best in friendship ako kay Flawbert noon pa man e di sana close na kami ng pamilyang Dee! Share ko lang like months ago nakita ko si Flawbert he is equally hot like his cuz's, nag lalakad sa community ng naka-board shorts at shirtless at buong ningning na ini-rarampa ang six packs at ang pelvic bone nya sa kasagsagan ng init ng araw. Ako naman nagkukunwaring nagtetext pero, bet ko syang habulin at makipagkwentuhan! Tumagaktak ang pawis ko hindi dahil sa init ng araw, kungdi sa katawang lupa niya!

What does these men have in common? They make me drool!


3. Aljur Albrenica

-Ito inabangan namin to! In fairness sa batch nila sa starstruck talagang patalbugan sa pasarapan ang mga boys, isama mo pa si Paolo Avelino na isa pang hmmm... kakainis! Inabangan sa Zaido para macheck-an ang bulge ni Zaido Red. Siya kaya yung for me mas pwedeng tawaging " Tall, Dark and Handsome" isama mo pa ang chinito eyes at ang matipunong braso na parang mahigpit yumakap! Talbog!

2. JC de Vera

-Kahit na minsan ang tingin ko kay JC ay parang tabong putol o tabong walang hawakan, ewan ko ba kung bakit parang nawiwindang ung mundo ko pag siya nakikita ko. Ang gwapo kasi at ang ganda ng katawan bukod pa sa may lalim umarte. Crush ng kaibigan ko dahil ang ganda raw ng arrangement ng buhok sa kili-kili, doon ko lang nalaman na parang flower pala ang buhok sa kili-kili pwedeng i-arrange! LOL .Napanood mo ba ung Macho dance nya sa mini drama series nya last month? In fairness sabay naming pinanood ng tatay ko sa sala namin. Nagustuhan nya rin daw, hindi yung pagsasayaw ni JC na mala-macho dancer yung arte daw may lalim umarte parang next Boyet de leon. Kabog!

1. Jake Cuenca

- Actually I am torn, hindi ako sure kanina kung si JC ba o si Jake, pero naisip ko na mas kinaadikan ko si Jake Cuenca! Kung may deboto kay Jake Cuenca siguro lagi akong pumupunta doon parang magpunas ng panyo at humingi ng basbas! Hahaha. Parang na-engkanto na ko sa charm at appeal nya. Siya na nga ang pinag-aagawan ng naming mga magkakaibigan pagdating sa pilian ng hottest men ng local showbizlandia ngayon! Kahit mga gurls join na rin sa pag wo-worship sa katawang lupa ni Jake! Ewan ko ba dito kay Jake sobrang ang appeal at "It Boy" pa kaya talaga naman kaka-inlove. I personally like his style and takes when it comes to fashion! Isama mo payung mga memory ng mga ginagwa nya sa bench fashion show! Hay I feel sick! hahaha




AddThis Social Bookmark Button


Questions...

Friday, October 17, 2008

What I thought as fadin' away isn’t really going through?
What I thought as to what I can blind myself with is still 20/20?
What I thought of something I can avoid and ignore, didn't leave me at all?

Why should I’ll be guilty of something that gives me pleasure?
Why should I hold myself wherein I know I am ready all my life to do it?
Why all the bad things feels right though you know it’s somewhat or totally wrong?

If it's fadin’ away, do I still need to hide?
If it's fadin’ away, I can start talking about it with whoever wanna listen.
If it's fadin' away, should I have to fool myself still?
If it's fadin' away, how come I can't set myself free?!?

and if it's really fadin' away, why do you hurt here inside of me? :(




AddThis Social Bookmark Button


Kung Nakakapag-Blog lang si Father....

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Matagal tagal na rin nang huling nagsimba akong mag-isa. Tama... Bukod sa kakayanan kong manood ng sine, mag-mall, magkape, magpunta sa Divisoria, mag lunch/yosi break ng mag-isa at magkulong sa kwarto ng buong araw ay nagsisimba rin ako ng mag-isa. Hindi ko lang siguro kayang mag-isa pag gimik. Kaw kaya gumimik mag-isa? Sigurado akong hindi mo yun matatawag na gimik o kaya'y uminom mag-isa, mukha ka namang masyadong loser. Hindi ko yun magawa at hindi ko gagawin! Pinipili kong magsimba mag-isa para maibigay ko ng buong pusong pagninilay-nilay ayoko ng maraming kasama, maraming yang chikka. Confirmed na yan!

Kahapon, Sabado ng gabi naringgan ko si Deboi (isang ka-opisina) na magsisimba pagkatapos ng shift. Agad akong nagpresintang sumama. Naisip kong matagal na yung huli na nagsimba ako. Kaso napag-alaman ko the Fort ito. Lion King (read: malayo) so hindi na ako sumama. Every sunday they try to visit different churches. Kung sino ang kasama n'ya wa na ispluk. Kung alam mo kung sino, siya na nga. Aaminin ko sandali akong tinunaw ng eksenang ganun, may katamisang handog, ika nga! Hahaha

Sa kadahilanang na press release ko na magsisimba ako, na-obliga akong ituloy. Naisip kong dumaan sa malapit na simbahan para magdasal at magpasalamat. Hindi ko mai-atras since nai-press release na nga at bawal na magback-out baka magalit si Bossing! Naupo ako sa gilid ng simbahan dumating ako 15 minuto bago mag-6 ng umaga. May tamang oras pang magdasal bago ang unang misa. Matapos ang ilang minutong pagdarasal, pagpapasalamat at kahilingan ay nagmasid ako. Katulad ng inaasahan puro thunder (read:matanda) ang naroroon may mangilan ilang bagets at dalawang fresh na katulad ko mag-isa rin. hehehe. Sabi ko sa sarili ko ang agang sinagot ng hiling ko.. Hahaha. Naisip ko ito na ba ang lalaking bigay Niya na magmamahal sa akin? O padala lang uli ni Mayor?!? Hahaha. Sabay ngiti, nakita ako ni manang sa tabi ko. Bigla akong sumimangot para kunwari hindi ako humahagikhik. Pinilit kong ibaling ang atensyon ko ibang bagay katulad ng pagtingin sa detalye at konsepto sa simbahan. Inagaw ang atensyon ko ng dalawang imahe ng Birhen. Naisip ko kung paano kung ang mga suot nila ang "in" na fashion tapos dito sa Pilipinas na isang mainit na bansa. Baka lahat nanlilimahid sa pawis. Naisip ko rin kung bakit sila kulot o kung may Birhen ba na ang buhok ay rebonded at full bangs?!? Sabay hagikhik, mas careful si ate baka ma-capture ako for the second time. Sinabi ko sa sarili ko na lang "erase, erase". Nagiging wild ang imagination ko, wala akong magawa malikot talaga ang isip ko!

At nagsimula ang misa, natatakot akong makatulog kaya pinipilit kong maupo ng tuwid. Ang homily ay tungkol sa pagpapakumbaba, Interesting at inspiring... Yung bagay-bagay na hindi na nabibigyang pansin ng ordinaryong mga tao katulad ko dahil sa pagiging abala sa buhay ay binanggit ni Father. May pitak sa puso... nakaka-guilty. At one point, may tama si Father. Sapul na sapul! Sabay naisip kong ang galing ng pagkakagawa ng Bibliya. Masusi, matalino at makatwiran. Hindi napaglilipasan ng panahon. Tatamaan at tatamaan ka ng mga litanya kahit magtago ka pa!

Sabi pa ni Father baka mauna pa ang mga masasamang loob na buong puso nagbago at tumalikod sa kasamaan kaysa sa kanila na naglilingkod sa Kanya na maligtas. Dahil buong puso silang tumalikod at nagbago. Isinapuso at Isinaisip at gumagawa ngayon para sa Kanya ng walang pag-iimbot. Hindi yung sumusunod ka sa batas ng Diyos dahil ikaw ay inaasahan gawin ang mga ganoong bagay dahil isa kang Kristiyano. May punto! Nabanggit niya rin na walang masama sa pagbaba ng sarili at pag amin ng kamalian. There's nothing wrong in humbling ourselves, sabi nya nga. Naalala ko tuloy ang "Beatitudes"! Ang nakakagulat pa roon ay parang sinasagot na ni Father lahat ng tanong ko ng araw na yun, actually may isang tanong ako sa dasal ko na sinagot ng kanyang mga linya. Tuloy tuloy lang si Father magaling siya magsalita. Spontaneous at direct to the point, higit sa lahat napakadaling unawain ng sinasabi niya dahil siguro may likas s'yang katalinuhan. Dumating ako sa punto na napi-feel ko ng umiyak. Weird nga. Ewan ko tinatamaan ako at dahil siguro parang naging personalized ang sermon para sa akin! Sumagi sa isip ko na paano kaya kung mag heart to heart talk kami ni Father, siguro hindi na ako masyadong mangangamba sa buhay ko. Napangiti ko ng na-imagine ko si Father na kausap ko sa Chunky at nakikipag-inuman sa amin pag oras ng chikahan. Malikot talaga ang isip ko!

Sa totoo lang kinakalibutan ako sa mga sinsabi nya na parang ung feeling ng kumain ka ng 3 saging ng sunod sunod. Yung ganoong level ng pagkakilabot! Parang gusto kong ng umiyak dahil naririnig ko ung gusto kong marininig. Kung ano man yun, akin na lang! Pagkatapos niya sa sermon iba yung pakiramdam ko natapos na rin yung halo halong emosyon na nadama ko. Kumalma. Para akong naging birhen napaka-banayad ng pakiramdam at napakagaan at may kakaibang saya. Umuwi akong desididong bumalik sa susunod na Linggo, mag-isa! :)



Share ko lang, masyado na ba tayong abala talaga na minsan pala ang sagot na gusto nating marinig ay nariyan lang nag-iintay lang sa atin, di natin binigyan ng pansin.

Na kung lahat maglalaan ng time makinig, umunawa at marunong mag-repleksyon. Mas madali ang buhay!

Na si Father ang swerte ng mga kaibigan dahil ang lawak ng tingin nya sa buhay.

Na minsan masarap pa rin makinig sa taong walang alam sayo, dahil totoo lang ang sasabihin nila. Walang titimbangin...

Naisip ko si Father na mabuting kristiyano pero aminadong maaring may pagkukulang siya.

Si Father ay leader ng simabahan at inaasahan na manguna pero marunong magpakumababa.

Si Father kung nag ba-blog lang marami pang mata-touch na buhay, masakit isipin mas marami ang nag-oonline kesa nagsisimba...

Kung nakakapag-blog lang sana si Father.......

(originally posted on my multiply site, Sep 29, '08 8:08 AM)


AddThis Social Bookmark Button


Si Patani. Si Bob. At Ako.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Bakya akong tao, kaya kong sakyan ang pinakawalang kwentang jokes at pinakawalang kwentang palabas pag bored ako at walang magawa. Katulad na lang ni Patani ng Survivor Philippines), nang minsan napanood ko siya sa isang episode napataas kilay ako at napa-"ha?" sa hitsura nya, siya yung kabaligtaran ng nag-gagandahang mukha sa reality TV shows ngayon. Nagiging katawa-tawa siya dahil sa kanyang kakaibang hitsura at asal sa pananalita. Sa lipunang ito, lahat ng naiiba sa karamihan ay weirdo, abnormal o nakakatawa. Aaminin ko hinusgahan ko siya kaagad, pero sabi ko nga may kakaiba akong paghanga at pagmamahal sa mga underrated. Napanood ko siya uli, sa Jessica Soho Report kahapon, nakuha nya ang aking respeto at paghanga dahil hindi ko siya kakikitaan ng pretensiyon at pagamamalabis, ni hindi niya kinahiya kung ano siya noon at kung ano ang wala s'ya hanggang ngayon. Hindi siya nangiming ipangalandakang na isa s'yang Yaya bagkus ay ginamit n'ya yun para mapansin at mapag-usapan. Napahanga rin ako sa matalinhaga nyang pananalita at determinasyon. May lalim siyang mag-isip at kita mo yun sa kada bitaw niya ng bawat salita -matalino siya at may laman kahit pa sinasabi niya na hindi s'ya katalinuhan.

Si Patani - payak man ang pinanggalingan, di hamak na mas kahanga-hanga kumpara sa ibang nag-aambisyong mag-artista.

Bakya akong tao, hindi ko itatangging inis akong sa walang patid na pagpo-forward ng mga SMS na walang laman at kwenta masulit lang ang unlimited service. Sa kabila nito, may mangilan-ngilan na naitabi ko sa Inbox ko at isa sa mga ito ay ang mga quotes ni Bob Ong. Nalala ko na college ako nang mag-umpisang sumikat si Bob, aminin ko hindi ako nag-abalang basahin ang ni-isa man sa kanyang obra. Sa kabila nito, naiinis ako sa sarili ko dahil sa text message ko siya nagustuhan. Sa text ko na minahal ang gawa niya. Wais siyang mag-isip, simple, totoo at kahanga hanga ang pangangatwiran. Kanina lang nakabasa na naman ako ng nakakatuwa at makatwirang pananaw nya sa buhay, salamat sa kaibigan kong si Destiny!

Si Bob - wala akong alam sa kanya pero ito yung mga naisulat nyang naka-relate ako:

"mangarap ka at abutin mo ito. wag mo sisihin ang sira mong pamilya, palpak mong syota, pilay mong tuta o mga lumilipad na ipis... kung may pagkukulang sayo ang magulang mo, pwede kang manisi at magrebelde, tumigil ka sa pag-aaral, mag drugs ka, magpakulay ng buhok sa kili-kili... sa bandang huli, ikaw din ang biktima... rebeldeng walang napatunayan at bait sa sarili..."
-Noong lumalaki ako naiinis ako sa mga ka-edad-an ko pag nakaka-balita na nagloloko dahil feeling nila napapabayaan sila ng mga magulang nila. Si Tatay nagtatrabaho pati na rin si Nanay. Si anak sustentado, sa isang school na maganda, bago ang libro at mga gamit. Pero nagloloko tas yung ibang nag-aadik. Ang rason, walang time "daw" ang mga magulang. Bakit naman ako lumaki ako na kaming dalawa lang ng ate ko magkasama sa buong araw, ang mga magulang ko nagtatrabaho rin at ni hindi ko naisip mag-gago at mag-adik! Sabi nga ni Zenaida Zeva, "Ang mga tala ay gabay lamang may free will tayo gamitin natin ito! Back to you Julius!" LOL

"Hindi lungkot o takot ang mahirap sa pag-iisa kundi ang pagtanggap na sa bilyon-bilyong tao sa mundo, wala man lang nakipaglaban upang makasama ka."
-ito sobra to parang palasong sa puso, nangungurot ng pagkatao! Ewan ko ba parang nagbabanta sa aking ang mga salitang yan! Pressure?!?

“Kung paniniwalaan namin kayo na hindi naglaro ng tubig kahit na basa ang damit n’yo, kayo ang niloloko namin; Hindi kayo ang nakapanloloko.”
- Isa lang ang masasabi ko, buong puso akong nagpapasalamat sa mga magulang ko dahil hindi nila tinanaong o naisip i-confirm ang pagkatao ko. Obvious naman na sa 25 years ko na kasama ko sila may mga ginagawa akong malayo sa gawain ng bruskong lalaki. Walang naghahanap sa girlfriend ko, di rin din naman nila itinanong kung may boyfriend ako. Basta, parang may mga bagay na obvious na hindi na kailangan tanungin, may mga bagay na lam mo na pero tinatanong mo tas pag sinagot ka hindi mo paniniwalaan. Mabuti pang wala na lang tanungan at wala na ring lokohan! Salamat uli sa kanila!

"Bakit ba ayaw matulog ng mga bata sa tanghali? alam ba nilang pag natutosilang umibig e hindi na sila makakatulog kahit gusto nila?"
-Naalala ko yung mga bagay na panakot sa akin nang bata ako kapag ayaw kong matulog kapag tanghali. Paano kaya kung sasabihin sayo ng Nanay mo na kapag hindi ka matutulog ng tanghali hindi mo mahahanap ang taong magpapaligaya sayo. Hindi mo mahahanap ang taong papangarapin mo. Hindi ka makakatikim ng lalaking malambot ang labi, mahigpit yumakap, at masarap sa kama at higit sa lahat ang lalaking magmamahal sa'yo. Matutulog ka kaya agad?

"Parang elevator lang yan eh, bakit mo pagsisiksikan ung sarili mo kung walang pwesto para sayo. Eh meron naman hagdan, ayaw mo lang pansinin."
-Kuya narinig mo yan!!! In short, Babae ay elevator ang bakla papasanin ka sa hagdanan kahit galing ka pa sa 27th floor pababa! Dagdagan mo pa ng musical scoring na "Anything for you" version ni Nina.!

Ngayon, tatapatan ko ang quote ni Bob. "Ang Bakla kapag lalaki pork chop, sa mga kaibigan Ketchup!" Kabog! Tama ba ako ate?!?

“…mas marami pa s’yang alam kesa sa nakasulat sa Transcript of Records n’ya, mas marami pa s’yang kayang gawin kesa sa nakalista sa resume n’ya, at mas mataas ang halaga n’ya kesa sa presyong nakasulat sa payslip n’ya tuwing sweldo.”
-Pakisabi na lang to sa Boss ko! o kaya itext mo rin sa boss mo! Mas maganda kung sa email, gawin natin chain letter, Ung parang kelangan ipasa mo ito sa sa 7 mong kaopisina in 1 hour or may mangayayaring kahindik -hindik sa loob ng 7 taon! Huwag titigil hanggang makarating sa may-ari ng kumpanya! Pag na-check ung thread ikaw ung pinanggalingan at malay mo marealize nga nila at bigyan ka ng raise or promotion. Try mo lang!?!

"Kung hindi mo mahal and isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya.."
-I dedicate this sa mga taong na-involve o muntikan na ma-involve sa akin, sa mga susunod na mga taong darating sa buhay ko magsilbi sanang warning ito sa inyo. Lol. O kahit kanino. Kuya, huwag kang maging magiliw sa mga taong hindi ka interesado. Alam mo sa puso mo agad kung ang taong lumalapit sayo ay may intensyon na higit pa sa pakikipagkaibigan mo. Kung hindi mo gusto, iparamdam mo hindi yung ipinain mo sarili mo tapos ng natanong ka halos gusto mong duraan si bakla sa mukha! Three words. "Cut the Crap!"

"Lahat naman ng tao sumeseryoso pag tinamaan ng pagmamahal. Yun nga lang,hindi lahat matibay para sa temptasyon."
-Marami akong kilalang ganito. May taong malapit sa akin na pinatotohan ito. Mapagmahal naman sila kung tutuusin at karamihan sa kanila ay makati rin naman at the same time. Ewan ko ba kung bakit ako hindi naman ako naghahanap ng P.K. (pang-alis kati), masakit isipin na mahirap talunin ang tawag ng laman at mahirap pigilan ang pagnanasa, ikakasakit lang ng puson mo! Sa totoo lang!!!

"Huwag mong bitawan ang bagay na hindi mo kayang makitang hawak ng iba."
- Ang kaibigan ko iniwan ng boyfriend niya, sumama sa iba. Si babae nasaktan ibinaling sa iba ang pagmamahal at nakahanap ng katapat. Isang lalaking tinumbasan ang kaya ibigay ni babae. Inaway ni ex-boyfriend ang ex-girlfriend. Mahal nya pa raw si babae at di nya kayang makitang kasama ng iba. Baka hindi niya kayang makitang mas naging masaya si babae simula ng iniwan niya? Sumakit ang ulo ko sa tagpong katulad ng sa kanila! Sana pinatay mo si babae nang iniwan mo siya, kung ganyan ka rin lang naman mag-isip. Possesive lang tayo?!?


"Kung maghihintay ka nang lalandi sayo, walang mangyayari sa buhay mo.. Dapat lumandi ka din."
-Ay taena! parang huli na ang lahat sa akin, sana naglandi na ako simula ng Grade 2 pa lang ako! Kung nauso ka lang dati Bob at nabasa ko ito baka naging motto ko pa ito sa mga slum book! Syet!

“Ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko.”
- Sex yata ito? O lalaki?!? Lol

"Huwag mong hawakan kung alam mong bibitawan mo lang."
-"Don't be too sweet, I might fall" Linya ko yan palagi.
Sa tagalog:
"Huwag mo akong mabiro-biro, bakla lang!"

Kuya naman, sa buhay ko halos talo na ako dahil kulang ako ng isang butas, kung magmamalambot ka rin lang sa akin tapos saktong gusto kita, mababaliw ako sa iyo. Ang puso ko madaling madarang at umasa, ang isip ko bubulagin ng tamis ng salita mo at walng kahulugan mong gestures. At kahit gaano pa katigas ang ulo kong ito at sabihin ko pang mas matalino ako sa iyo, ako pa rin ang TALO. So huwag na lang, please lang!

Marami pang iba d'yan na Linya ni Bob na gusto ko, Tsaka ko na lang itutuloy...


AddThis Social Bookmark Button


My Emptiness Consumes Me (Confessions 2)

So, what's the new drama do I have in my life? Admittedly, I think I am in a quarter life crisis phase now, I know how I emerged from it, it hit me right on the spot, Oh yeah! That night - with them. I know too what's rooting to this insecurity: fear and frustration. Fear of not having to end up with the fairy “tale-ish” life I ever dream of or frustration because of the emptiness with almost all the things happening to me. Let's say it's family, love and career. Oh should I say more of the love part or belongingness or whatever you may wanna call it - I call it "bitch-ing". Finding that very one "bitch" of my life.

I was never afraid of being alone. But please, I don't wanna be alone for the rest of my life. I am scared of never finding that one person to spend my life with. I thought I always can wait - no pressures. I thought there were plans - fate. I thought life can be "Barbie" - beautiful and fun. It's no true if you are in your mid-life, when you have so little time to think and reflect because life is getting busier. When you see people within your age bracket around you enjoying to have the best of both worlds - love and career. He/She got a very challenging and high-paying job and at the same time enjoying a “not-just-a-trophy-partner" that take cares of him/her at the end of the day. Then, I have none. I don't compare not til' now. It made a sucker out of me - sucker of insecurities.

I am feeling empty now and my emptiness consumes me. This phase of my life terrifies me to the point of near emotional paralysis. Like, oh... okay I haven't gotten those so stop rubbing it!!! Again, divine numbness where are you when I need you most?!? Then, it brings me back to that night - I can't still understand why I felt very wrong thinking the other way around. It's just because I swim opposite to the current does it mean I am wrong or I am not special? When all of them were swimming upstream and I am fighting my way downstream. Taking it on a different route, working on it longer and harder. Did it make that bitch a loser? I was referring to me of course - the bitch, bitch! I wanna sure end up to where they are now but not to get there skipping important things I need to consider. It seems like nice guys always finish last!

Now, I am asking myself. Is emptiness a choice? Does emptiness necessarily translate to being miserable? When I am alone and idle reality will bite me right there and then, it would hurt you on the most unguarded time of your life - when you are alone and thinking. Let's say when you are alone going to work, when you're tired at work, when you don't wanna go to work, when you just wanna shut your mouth but your job entails you to talk, or not liking to go home yet by the end of shift because you know you can't sleep right away. No matter how you pack your day with activities it will find it's way to haunt you. It's like a quickie - it gratifies itself by keeping you awake. lol

Then, I realized the first few steps towards feeling less lonely actually required me to spend some real time with myself - alone.


Just me and myself....


(originally posted on my multiply site, Aug 16, '08 9:41 PM)


AddThis Social Bookmark Button


Confessions (coming out, again)

Just finished washing up, I am feeling fagged and dirty. It was one of the longest days I had. I am up for roughly 40 hours and out of our house since Thursday night. I came home with pancakes that I bought, I thought bringing something for breakfast would be a good idea since I was out for almost 2 days. It was a long time when I was out without letting my Mom know my whereabout is. I stopped doing that ever since my sister left our house with her boyfriend and ran away. I was too lazy to let her know since I didn't come home after my shift and I just called her to ask about our Carbonara recipe that my officemat-eys and I shared for dinner. Most likely she got an idea that I am up to something, so I guess she didn't bother over the night. I planned to go home but since I am feeling tired, I stayed.

It was a night in Yhaz and Tintoy's place, officemates who's living within the vicinity came by. I initiated an alcohol drinking since watching MTV turned out to be a little boring. After a some minutes, some more "Gay-Bisexual" officemat-eys came and some with their partners, up for some booze. I made the all time favorite and an original "Jovy's Mix" as a starter. Since it as brandy I know it will set the mood. It was a very "gay-ish" night. The night got more interesting because they talked about relationships, sex, fantasies and break ups of course with same sex. That's one of the topics that I personally don't want to be brought up. I know I can’t say something because I never had a love life and I never had sex with anyone (sex as in sex, sex).

The feel of brandy was starting to run on me and made me a little sleepier. I pretended to be asleep, since I am trying not to be asked. I completely felt out of place and uncomfortable. I can hear them all asking and sharing about things that they had, have and would like to have. Amongst all in the group I can say that I am a novice. I felt like a loser. I admit, I don't invest with relationship and I am not looking for one. I am a loser, because up until now I am thinking that the "Bong Quintana" of my life will come to me without me trying hard to look for him. I am a loser, because I don't take chances. I always play safe. Loser in a sense that I don't have guts of trying and looking for a person that can complete me and love me with my flaws and all. I am loser, because no matter how "some" others admire me from being strong and with my so-called "straight thinking" it didn't make me a complete winner. It separated me from reality, and it blinded me from what likely the ordinary person like me might need. I hate myself for not looking into that "sex thing" the way some of them look at it. I feel like a loser because I look into the sex thingy as something special, I always thought that sex is easy if you’ll need and want it. But, that thinking I have didn't feel right that time with them.

There are just too many things in my private life that I wanna safe-keep and I am afraid that it would be asked that's why I pretended sleeping. Aside form the fact that I can't share anything with most of the topics. I am more likely the last person that you would wanna listen to in terms of relationship, courting and sex. Then, I had a chance to move away so I did. I separated myself to the group since there’s this growing insecurity inside of me hearing their stories. It hurts inside so bad. It seems like it's pushing me to try to see things in a different light. It was like I am pushed against the wall. The thinking I have for all of these years doesn't feel right - with them, that night. My thinking has turned out to be my biggest insecurity maybe because It's becoming more like a frustration. I guess it's with age-ing or maybe there's no person in the group can relate with what I 'ma say. It changed me that moment but still I concealed the feeling and pretended nothings wrong. I found a spot and had a thought of it more. Morning came and I went home like hearing all of the things they talked about. Is it really something I should be insecure about?

No matter how dog-tired I am, I can't rest my body with thoughts running in my mind. How I hope that this growing insecurities can be easily washed up like how I washed up all the dirt on my body couple of minutes ago.. ..


(originally posted on my multiply site, Aug 8, '08 8:39 PM)


AddThis Social Bookmark Button


Rebound

A man talking to his self while asleep.

Why are you staring at nothingness? What's with you?

Nothing... I decided to be cold starting today! That's just it!!


What's that about? Is it still about him?

Maybe.. I am starting to hate the feeling. Its kinda weird. It feels like whenever I am
with the group I do not feel true, I am thinking that I am not the old friend that they know.

I know your heart, you didn't push yourself to like him and I know you're doing something about it...

Of course yes. Its just so sudden. As long as I can hide I'll do it, until this feeling
pass out on me. I pity my heart for being so tired and afraid of loving. I hope I can put everything behind.

You should'nt. Be happy that your heart can still love. It's no personal choice, right?

It's not. I am happy when I am with him. But, at the end of the day it will still hurt, reality bites.
So better not to do it right?


If you think it's right to take, then go for it. Are you sure about your feelings?

Hmmm. I do not know. But its way too far with what I felt with the last person I loved. Its not
that deep. It's like a bruise in my skin. I can say it's a level higher compared
to infatuaution but not totally love. Maybe I am just overwhelmed.


Exactly my point. You don't need to think about it because it might be nothing.

Thats what I like about you, your always there. You are putting me back to where I should be. Oh yeah! would like to think of it that way.


I know. Besides, it's not just an issue with him also it is with your friend, his lover.

I know that's why im trying to be extra careful. lets say he is your lover and
ur the partner. then, you found out that something is going on with me and your
lover. What will you think of me?

I can't say any.... I would like to hear your side.

Arent you going to be mad knowing that I somehow did something behind your back?
That i'll be here for ur partner come the time that he'll need support. That I am
trying to share attention that you deserve in the first place. That all the while
I am not honest as friend because I am hiding. It's not easy...


I am listening....

If you'll be in my shoes. I'll do the things with you and you partner. Would
you understand. Would you care about what i am going through. I told you I care
too much on what will other will say. I do not want to get something I like or wish
the hard way.

Aside from self respect... I know you are trying to avoid being called names.....

It's very true. I dont wanna be called like such a deperate bitch, pretentious or opportunist. I just do not want them to call me names because they do not understand what I am going through. They do not know what I am doing about it. Who would care to listen? I am sure i am not gonna explain myself.

I am too. You don't need to explain yourself to anybody anyway.

Exactly,I do not owe anybody an explanation because I know I am preventing this in the first place
Besides, I'm stopping myself to be involved fully. I do not want to cause other a pain and of course myself.
Guh! I feel gloomy all of a sudden.

You do not need to feel bad about it, If I were you I'll enjoy the feeling and let it pass out.

I like what you said.. I'll enjoy the feeling til' it pass out. I swear
no hopes of having him more than what we are now. Im being selfish and harsh with
myself but I know it's the best for me and the people concern.

He is no "Bong Quintana" anyway!

You know what.. If I am in your shoes I'll do the same, I rather hurt myself than causing a total chaos out of situation. What are you planning now?

I'll cross the bridge when i get there.
That's my position now and I think it's applicable in every issues I have in my life lately.
He can't be and would never be a person that i'll fight for and stand with for the days to come.
He can never be the man of my dreams, my Bong Quintana, not even close..
I do not trust him as well as my feelings.
I'm just overwhelmed nothing more.

Where is this leading?

Simple.. I'm going to the root and cut it right there.
I do whatever it takes. Even it means a start of a colder and casual me!

Would you help me out?

I feel claustrophobic....


I surely can't...
I am just crossing my fingers for you buddy...



AddThis Social Bookmark Button


Related Posts with Thumbnails
 

Design by Amanda @ Blogger Buster